Chimbley Sweep

**Alexander Melchiott** Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:33 am

A tall man who could easily be mistaken as a bodybuilder is walking away from a Koenigsegg CCX towards the ULOL building.

?: "This is the United League of Lunatics? The quality of the building mirrors the quality of the matches....appropriate, I suppose."

All of a sudden the man stops with a peculiar look on his face. He walks over to a dumpstar that legs are hanging out of, reaches in, and pulls out a dirty kid who is holding a large top hat filed with random things out of the dumpstar.

Kid: "Wot the bloody 'ell do ye fink y're doing?! Let me go you tosser!"

?: "Who are you?"

Kid: "Oi, I'm da chimbley sweep."

A moment of silence passes.

?: "This place has a chimney?"

Chimbley Sweep: "Nope."

?: "Then what are you doing here?"

Chimbley Sweep: "Wot's it look like I'm do'in; Guv'nor?"

?: "Ok, I'm sick of you."

The man drops the Chimbley Sweep to the ground.

Chimbley Sweep: "Oi! Wot did you do that fore?!"

The man turns and begins walking to the door of the ULOL. The Chimbley Sweep puts on his hat and grabs his broom before running after him.

Chimbley Sweep: "Oi! 'ave you got somefing t'eat?"

The man stops and looks at the Chimbley Sweep.

?: "No."

Chimbley Sweep: "Sum' bloke wif aids took off wif all my savings an' now I'm 'aving to start over from the scratch."

?: ".....that's uh...too bad."

The man starts to walk away again, but before he gets far, the Chimbley Sweep grabs his wallet and keys out of his pocket.

Chimbley Sweep: "Thanks Guv'nor!"

The Chimbley Sweep quickly runs past the man and into the ULOL building. The man is right on his tail, but once he enters the building, he doesn't see the Chimbley Sweep.

?: "Now where did that British punk go? It's inappropriate to run."

The Chimbley Sweep's voice can be heard from behind a nearby door.

Chimbley Sweep: "I'm more int' being inappropriately alive!"

The man swings open the door to see the Chimbley Sweep lighting a cigarette.

Chimbley Sweep: "Oi!"

?: "I've got you now you little-"

Chimbley Sweep: "British-ninja Vanish!"

The Chimbley Sweep slams his broom into the ground, sending out a puff of dust. The sound of coughing, a bunch of footsteps, some things falling over, and the door slamming are all that the audience can pay attention to until the dust settles. The cameraman is still in the room along with the man, but the Chimbley Sweep is nowhere to be seen.

?: "Oh...he's gone...damn it..."

The Man exits the room and goes into the hallway. He notices another guy watching him, and figures he had to have seen The Chimbley Sweep exit the room.

?: "You! You had to have seen the Chimbley Sweep exit the room!"

Upon the camera's closer examination, the watcher is none other than Alexander Conway.

Alexander: "Uhh....Who?"

?: "The Chimbley Sweep! He's a dirty British kid with a top hat and a broom!"

Alexander: "Sir, are you high? There are no dirty British kids running around this arena....well, unless of course, The British Hawk is playing dress-up."

?: "I know what I saw!"

The Man looks at Alexander for a few seconds.

?: "Hey, aren't you Alexander Conway? A wrestler here?"

Alexander: "Yes. I take it you are a wrestler as well?"

?: "Not just any wrestler! I'm the next Primo Ultimo Champion!"

Alexander lets out a short laugh.

Alexander: "Surrreeee you are. That's what everyone says."

The man moves closer to Alexander.

?: "Are you calling me a liar?"

Alexander smirks at the man.

Alexander: "Does it really make a difference?"

Alexander leans to the right and looks past the man.

Alexander: "Someone's car is being jacked by a dirty British Chimbley Sweep."

The man turns around and takes a look.

?: "Oh hey, that's him. And that's my car....wait, that's my car!"

The Man runs out of the building as the car speeds off. He looks frustrated, but soon shrugs his shoulders.

?: "Oh well, looks like I'll have to call for another one to be brought here."

The Man picks something off of the ground.

?: "Well at least he left me my wallet."

The scene fades as the man begins to walk back to the building.